When I was young, I’d wake up this early so that I could watch Saturday morning cartoons.
Remember what that felt like?
My little brother and I would huddle right in front of the TV as it sang “One Saturday Morning.”
When the sun started to come up, in the warmer months of the year, it would start to smell like fresh cut grass while we watched. The smell would waft through the screen door.
The neighborhood would slowly wake up. It would start with silence and slowly add a noise at a time. We’d hear birds, then cars, then lawn mowers down the street.
We’d watch for hours, unless we had soccer games, in which case, we’d watch as long as we could waiting around in our little YMCA soccer uniforms.
We didn’t know it at the time, but these were core memories. These were little moments in a heaven we wouldn’t understand until we were adults.
And now, my kids wake up to watch Saturday morning cartoons. Sometimes they watch in their little uniforms while waiting on their games.
I didn’t know that Saturday morning cartoons could be so safe. So necessary. So quintessentially childhood.
But here I am, 5 am, reminiscing over childhood cartoons.
LIKE A REAL GROWNUP.
Now, I’m off to do the games on the back of the cereal box.
I’m always trying to do a million things at once. I’ll give you some examples.
My kids are in a hybrid school, which means they go to school half the time and the other half, they’re doing their work at home. On any given “home day,” I may be doing all of the following at one time:
Helping the children with school
Helping my youngest, who is not yet old enough for school
Working on a draft or two for work
Planning for the days that I teach school
Contacting soccer parents because I am a volunteer coach
Planning a children’s play because I am a volunteer director
Trying (and failing) to keep up with the house
This, in no way, includes me time or time with my spouse or even the constant checking of my phone. And then I wonder things like: Why do I feel so anxious? Why can’t I sleep? Why am I unhappy?
Well golly gee, I freaking wonder why….
Honestly, many of you are probably the exact same way. I’d bet money on it.
But I guess, the older I get, the more I wonder: Why the hell do we do this? And more importantly: Can we just stop already?
The first question is easy, at least for me. I do this to myself because I feel inadequate. And so, I try to cram my time with things that I hope make my family successful and happy. And also, I have a very hard time saying no. But that’s a discussion for another day.
I feel bad, so I try harder. And when I try harder, I feel bad. It’s a very ugly cycle.
The second question is harder. Can we just stop already? I think the answer is yes. And even more pressing, I think stopping this already is perhaps the way to a more fulfilled life. We are so very distracted. All the time.
According to Brown University, multitasking increases stress, raises blood pressure, and increases our heart rate. There’s a very long article that I’ve linked above that goes into the details. But the short of it is that multitasking makes us unhealthy.
And yet, here we are. Checking messages, typing reports, schooling children, making plans, and blah, blah, blah.
I’m going to be very honest with you right now: I’ve been working hard to change this about myself. I fail. Often. But I’m also getting better. I’m going to tell you what I’ve been doing in hopes that it might help you, but the very dirty and honest truth is that it’s a switch in the brain. If you’re not ready, it won’t work. But I’ll tell you anyway:
I started shedding things that caused me worry. I don’t actually want to do all of the things that I’m currently doing, so I have been shedding them one by one. It’s a process. A long one. But I do think it’s working.
I started delegating. My kids are old enough to do some of their homework on their own, and they’re old enough to help with the home.
I set goals. I have big goals that I won’t discuss here, but narrowing down my intent has helped so much.
The most important change? I just wanted to change so damn bad that I was willing to try anything. I hit rock bottom, emotionally, so to speak. And that’s the real change.
If you haven’t hit rock bottom (and I hope you haven’t), maybe the things I’m trying will help you. I don’t think we were meant to be distracted all day. I think if we’re working, we should work. If we’re cooking, we should cook. Etc, etc. And yes, of course I know that this isn’t always possible, but good grief, it must be possible sometimes. Right??
I’m going with yes, because any other answer leads to more misery.
And because I’m a hopeful person. Sometimes. When I’m not being pessimistic.
I miss when phones were attached to the wall, but people were free…
Remember what it felt like to answer the phone and ask, “Is so-and-so home?” We don’t have to do that anymore. We just send a text or some other form of instant communication, and BOOM. We’re done.
No more sitting in one place to talk. No more missing a phone call. No more twirling the cord on your fingers. No more satisfying sound of the numbers turning.
No more freedom.
No more disconnecting.
No more putting the phone down.
How sad is that?
Let’s connect the phones and disconnect the people again.
